You know, I never thought of doing something like this but I wanna have a discussion with you in detail about what it's really like of being a consistent artist online, whether it be a hobby or for business/services. Noting down why I love it so much and some things I do not like about it

The Pro's

It's my passion - I love drawing characters and showing them to the world because it's fun and very engaging.

Discovering different things and realising my potential - that adreniline rush on trying something different or something I do less often feels refreshing and it can spark something that could help me with the content

Meeting new people - I have made so much friends along the way up to this day, all you followers on DA, Twitter, Patreon, etc. I don't think I'd ever met all of you if I hadn't gone down this road from the beginning

Earning something out of it - I consider all this as a hobby, I don't expect myself to make a career out of this but there's no harm in making a little cash on the side. Knowing that there are people out there willing to support me financially just to see more of my content really shows how grateful I am for your compassion

It's worth living for - You guys practically gave my life such a boost in continuing on it, you all made it worth living and it is very much appreciated

The Con's

This is where I'll get a bit more serious and heavy so bare with me here

The ramifications of being envious and arrogant - For years until 2018 I've been holding up a tight bond on the reputation, it looked like it was going alright for me, but at the end of 2017 I was getting... desperate for improvements, like getting angry and going nowhere when I saw that everyone I know has either gone away from the internet or there are other fellow artists that are vastly improving their own content and I had done little, so basically I had gotten jealous to the point where it clouded my mind to understand that it's just their own style and whatever they had done matters little to what I'm doing. So nowadays I'm more focused on my own content and learned to appreciate what I'm doing is more important than others

Causing drama for stupid reasons - Yeah the whole drama with Wubcake threw me off the deep end and destroyed my image within the fandom, That whole ordeal really messed me up and it brought out the demon inside of me and it was all for nothing other than pathetic jealousy and then it ended up with me getting depressed to the point where I considered leaving DA, but that's all in the past now, we patched things up and everything's good now.  

Just heed my warning though, unless the person you accuse of has legit evidence for their actions/methods, etc, you better back off before you end up fucking it all up for yourself and more importantly the person you're targeting. Saying it from my experience - don't do it, you'll mess up everything you've gained up to that point

Dealing with arrogant commissioners - Money's money, but the person offering the money is a different story. I have encountered many commissioners that doesn't understand that you are not a miracle worker. You have limitations, you have specific tastes that the buyers wouldn't like, therefore that creates conflict and then you'd lose the chance of earning cash for your work. I've been cheated into them bastards getting free images, they get stupidely picky like for example the eyes arent in a lewd expression (Something they shouldn've mentioned when discussing the details), and others I ain't bothered to explain, but long story short, no matter who you are and what you do, you will encounter people that arent easy to work with, believe me

I myself isn't easy to work with - I am guilty to say that I myself isn't easy to work with regarding request and commissions, I have specific tastes but I will not hesitate to try some other things that aren't usually in my content, but I might add that it is somewhat difficult to get me legit interested, but it ain't impossible

Requesters mostly asks for the same thing - Patreon is especially annoying in this regard. Since I have monthly requesters and I understand their preferences more clearly. However there is a downside to this: I get bored and less motivated easily if the person in question asks for something that is harder to deal with AND that they ask a similar concept on the next month, and so on. It would became less enticing and more of a chore to do these things. We need to be more open to what we can do and stop focusing on the lowest common demonator, this regards both the ideas and the characters, I'm sick of doing the same characters and the ideas on such a frequent basis for months on end. That is mostly the reason why I am hard to work with, because I long for something different and exciting, if its just gonna include the same characters, why bother, you know? At the very least I can work with characters I don't do as often as I should, or it's new characters entirely, but not characters I do so much of (Sinfonia and a couple other OC's is the purest example of this issue)

The less effort pics gets all the attention - You all should know that everyone has preferences and all, but there will be a time when you will make a big project that you will put your best in, and no one cares, but you make a simple headshot and that gets more attention than most of your images. Believe me, that hurts me the most of all this because it leads on that even when you put your all into something, it doesn't matter. Yet the ones you didn't even try on, that's when everyone comes in, you know? It really puts a damp on your confidence for future images 

Being a NSFW artist isn't easy - with everyone censoring the shit out of the internet these days, being a NSFW artist is becoming more and more difficult to carry on without getting punished, mostly of it being unfairly justified, even happens when you follow the rules, you still get punished. And you see other people completely shattering the rules and yet they don't get punished at all. So yeah in the NSFW world, it ain't always a full on happy go lucky place 

You cannot please everyone - Over the years, I have learned that you cannot please everyone, it hurts I know but basing it from my experience, I realise that you just cannot make everyone happy, there will be people bringing you down and others that flat out hate your guts, so it is important that you don't let that drop your confidence and continue doing what you do

Life gets in the way - Need I say more? XD

Can be hard at times - I never mentioned this is ever easy, keeping this thing consistent, good work and maintaining relevance (Even when it ain't necessary) is hard, it really is. You have good days, and you have off days, we all do. It gets stressful and it gets annoying, but it's all worth it in the end right?

Now I know there are more bad points then good points, but they does not weigh it down, I will continue doing these till I drop dead

I know it got a bit heavy at times but I simply wanted you guys to know that I love you all and I will hope to continue pleasing you till the end